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:iconsigma-echo-seven: More from Sigma-Echo-Seven

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Words by Bark

ENGLISH LANGUAGE by lombregrise

Writing by TwilightPoetess

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Submitted on
January 28, 2013
File Size
308 bytes


27 (who?)
Her hand pulled from mine –
slipped, like rainwater,
drifting through night;
her voice, confessed soft
sorrows as I dreamt.

"I no longer
in storms like you."
I'll probably expand this later, because I'm a masochist.
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Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh dear lord. I’m at a loss for words: This is positively gorgeous. I don’t even know where to start explaining my emotions, or if I even possess the ability right now! You can expand this if you’d like, but I really like it at this length: It sends a more powerful message, for me. I also feel adding on to it would perhaps dampen the meaning, unless the following parts possessed the same intensity. There are also so many conflicting feelings here, I feel, supporting further thought even after the last line is read. Quite beautiful, really.

The ending, to me, just wrapped it up exquisitely. Often times, I find endings to leave the reader unsatisfied or still yearning for that extra "oomph!" This delivered that and more. It's consistent in its agony and in its strength through the whole entire piece, and the imagery in every line just carries you effortlessly to the end. The fact that you've left "believe" on its own line was something I actually applauded you for: It adds so much more, and the emphasis on this word really leads the readers thoughts in the right direction, I think.
Beautiful work, as seems to be a pattern of your work. :heart:
Sigma-Echo-Seven Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you, this one kinda all came up at once. And I was considering for a long time about hacking off those last three lines, but if you like them then they'll stay. :)
WallabyArt-Poetry Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2013
this, i believe, will jolt someone into a pause. the poignance of the utter, cutting bareness of the concise, nearly (and surely only nearly) understated conclusion makes the length of the work expound. technique. content.
Sigma-Echo-Seven Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013  Student Writer
Thanks a ton, friend! :)
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is lovely, the brevity works to give each word a weight of meaning that fits the sombre mood.
Sigma-Echo-Seven Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you!
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome!
Disaster-N-Beauty Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist
This is gorgeous <3

I saw it featured as =star-blazer's Lit. Daily Pick today and also in his news article featuring all of the January picks! What a great way to end the month :)
Sigma-Echo-Seven Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Student Writer
That's quite a compliment! Thank you!
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
The conflicting images in this are fantastic. I love the gentle, somber feeling she has. And I also love the way you chose "believe" instead of a verb meaning to care for. As though, at some point, she had reason to have faith in violent weather.

lovely :heart:
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