Deviation Actions
Literature Text
“Velocitas eradico.”
Breakneck – the traceur hurtling – cut from the stream, broke from the rank – blending all the shrapnel primed – reactive answers giving traction – throwing him from any height – incendiary force – shoving him against the wall – defiant, but he needs it like a trigger – one after next it chambers and pulls – when it fires he goes crashing through the soundproof wave – like acid-rain on asphalt – it thrums and jumps and talks like one – but there’s no time – it’s behind him now: circling, serrating – caught up with his future tense – no telling, just run – then he’s split between the wavelength – fiber optic razor wire – bone deep lacerations – dripping down like lithium – pooling on the surface of the sun – “You’re a trace,” they said, “not enough to form a whole” – drown them in mercury – the hammer cracks, the neurons drive – the cleanest route through someone’s core – a straight line he can't follow – just cross and jag and ricochet – ascendant, urban, coiling, climbing, slipping, diving – past the etched-in watermark – the concrete blemish interlocked – a shadow puppet fracture, nothing more.
notesleep
280
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My lord, you also used some lovely lines:
“You’re a trace,” they said, “not enough to form a whole” – drown them in mercury
like acid-rain on asphalt
caught up with his future tense
a straight line he can't follow
I could probably just quote this whole poem, but these lines specifically stood out. What gripping, powerful lines! I love them beyond words. They just made my writer's gears turn and dance for joy! I am reminded by your piece, too, just how far I have to go. However, I will keep working and practicing diligently, and hopefully one day I can write some pieces as lovely as this one.
You've stolen my heart with your thoughtful, passionate words. I definitely enjoy every second I had to review your pieces. I'll definitely be back, too!